Summer Transfer Madness

The phrase 'cellar door' is often cited as the most beautiful combination of words in the English language. I disagree. Undoubtedly the sweetest sounding phrase that you'll hear this month is 'summer transfer window', a term which at once evokes feelings of anticipation, suspense, delight and despair. For Arsenal fans it's traditionally the anticipation and despair that dominate proceedings, the transfer kitty having been kept under lock and key somewhere in the bowels of the Emirates stadium; this year, we've been told, will be different though. If rumours are to be believed, Arsene Wenger is gaily skipping around Europe, throwing blank cheques at club chairmen and returning with a burlap sack filled with the continent's elite players.

Not true.

The reality is that we're about to have the kind of summer that a club like Manchester United would describe as "quiet", i.e. one major signing and a handful of insignificant players joining and leaving the club. The latter has already taken place to a certain degree; the club has released several players, a list which includes little Andrey Arshavin, bumbling centre back Sebastian Squirrelaci and sideways passer Denilson, who returns to Sao Paulo. Italian goalkeeper Vito Mannone has joined i fascisti dello rosso nero (beg pardon, Sunderland) for due millioni, while Francis Coquelin and Johan Djourou are both off on loan to Europe's new favourite league the Bundesliga.

Meanwhile Wenger has procured the talents of a promising youngster from the French leagues (how many times have we heard that one before?) - welcome Yayo Sanago, who joins us from Auxerre and plays up front. I look forward to seeing you loaned out three or four times over the next few seasons, before being sold to a German second tier team for peanuts. 

The big news this summer is of course that Argentine goal poacher Gonzalo Higuain could be on his way to the Emirates any day now. The transfer fee floated is in the region of £23 million, while his salary has been quoted as being anywhere between 100 and 150,000 a week. This, I'm reliably informed, is what's known in the business as a 'marquee signing'. Higuain is a proven goalscorer in one of Europe's top leagues; in the last 5 seasons he has 96 goals in 144 league games. He's a natural finisher, something that Arsenal sorely lacked last season, and his capture is also a statement of intent from a manager and board who, for the past few seasons, have shown all the transfer market munificence of a Dickensian workhouse owner. 

Other signings have been mooted - Fellaini has a buyout clause of somewhere around twenty million, but rumour has it that his wage demands are proving a stumbling block. The Belgian is a versatile player who can be deployed seemingly almost anywhere on the pitch - is he truly effective in any one place though? There's something of the jack of all trades, master of none about him which makes me wonder how well he'd fare longterm if deployed in a midfield holding role.

The more desperate sports hacks seem determined that Arsenal will sign one of the troublesome duo of Rooney and Suarez, despite all evidence to the contrary. Firstly let me say this: neither of those players will be at Arsenal next season. Secondly, does anyone even want them here? Luis 'could start a fight in an empty house' Suarez and Wayne 'Granny-botherer' Rooney are the kind of disruptive presences we could do without, and have wage demands far beyond Arsenal's means. Give credence to these rumours at your peril.

Higuain is expected to sign within the next few days, and will likely be joined by at least one more semi-high-profile signing; more to come then, from me and from the club, so plenty to look forward to.